By Jordan Zipkin
You’re at a major crossroads in your life. Perhaps you recently lost your job, became a father or mother, or moved to a new state. You’re unsure which path to take, which decisions are best, and you’ve been unsure for some time now. You’re fearful, lost, and stuck, and when you start thinking about all of your different choices, you become overwhelmed, and then you try to avoid that feeling through distracting and/or numbing yourself. You wish you could set aside your fears and take the right steps to your best future.
Here, we’ll help you learn some of the crucial steps to reducing your confusion and discovering the path that aligns with your desired life.
1. Embrace Your Current Place
This recommendation likely seems strange to consider, given you’ve been enduring considerable anguish for some time. The only way, though, for you get out of this place, is to first recognize and appreciate that it makes sense that you’re struggling with this decision. There must be plenty of good reasons for you to be stuck in this lost and confused place and so you’ll need to first acknowledge and appreciate those reasons and your related feelings.
2. Calm Yourself Down in Healthy Ways
When our emotions are intense, it obstructs our ability to make the best decisions. So, when the prospect of making this decision causes your emotions to ramp up in intensity, you’ll need to either learn and/or better utilize healthy self-soothing strategies to calm them down. Some of these strategies including taking deep and cleansing breathes, reminding yourself that with patience you will come to the right decisions at the appropriate time, and exercising. The more you calm these intense emotions down, the easier it will be for you to come to your best decisions.
3. Recognize and Concentrate on What You Know
When we’re lost, stuck, and confused about which path to take, we often get trapped in overwhelming thoughts. As a result, we then drift further from our desired solutions. To calm this process down, spend time reflecting on and highlighting the things in which you have clarity. What are the things in which are you certain? Noticing and valuing these aspects of your experience will bring you significantly closer to choosing the best path.
4. Speak with a Therapist
When we’re stuck in the same overwhelmed, lost, and confused place, it’s often so challenging to figure out which path is best for us. In these places, it’s often critical to share your experiences with someone who can be completely objective and unbiased, such as a therapist. A therapist can help you see your dilemma from a completely new angle, learn new ways of viewing it, and developing more helpful strategies to breaking it down and approaching it.
I can aid you on the journey to clearing your head, receiving a non-biased perspective, and discovering the route that aligns with your values through a telehealth session through a HIPAA-compliant video or phone session. Give me a call and we'll discuss how I can help. Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 561.214.4113.
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